It's been quite sometime now wherein I am enjoying my singlehood. I've been very lucky to experience eating without worries and praying: focusing on my spirituality. I also got the chance to focus on my family and learning to love myself again. It's a nice feeling that you get the chance to discover something new about yourself; to discover a lot of things that you would not believe you are able to do. Funny because I never felt this kind of fulfillment without having someone beside you. This is the point where I figured, "Hmm, I think it is better this way, having no partner whatsoever, just focus with family and career.".
And yes, that is what I did. I studied again, learned new things, acquired new set of skills and abilities, made a lot of time for my family and got a new job. Started all over. I am blessed to have this kind of job wherein it gives me time to focus on the things that I like to do (thank you to my new boss who gave me this kind of freedom!). And yes, about my job, I am now the account manager of a company in the U.S. and for my first assignment? Look for potential vendors and assist them in marketing their products in the U.S.. Not bad right? And there goes the start of my realization.
I went to a bazaar and look for prospect vendors. Ooops, found one! So I interviewed them. And yes, they are a couple. I smiled and continued with the interview. They look really happy and fulfilled. Not just they are life partners, but they are business partners and they just really blend with each other. No sign of stress, they just really love what they're doing. And then there goes another vendor, another couple. Each time they look at each other, they smile. And when I interviewed them, they are so supportive with one another. Happy. Contented. And I miss that feeling. And that day was my birthday. A soft slap on my face.
I was smiling the whole time. Mom's with me by the way, she's entertaining, we've talked a lot. Glad that she's patient enough to absorb all what I was trying to say. LOL. And there was silence. Everyone's in slow motion. Took a deep breath. And I said, "I am ready". Ready to fall in love again. Ready to be selfless once more. Ready to settle down again. But no rush. This time, I'd like to take time and get to know the person first... if ever that person comes along. If ever my future partner comes along.
Everyone's still in slow mo. Fading. And there I was in another dimension. In a beach. I saw this couple walking by the shore. I smiled. Felt weird. It's me! But with who? I observed myself. I was laughing so hard, having fun. Then the person hugged me so tight and gave me a kiss. Seeing myself from afar, I smiled. No sign of stress from my face. I look younger, more alive. I chuckled.
It was lunchtime, I followed them. They were eating at my favorite restaurant, MESA. They never stop talking. They never stop laughing. It's like there is no one around. The person, I was with, was very caring, very sweet, very cute. And I smiled again.
Sunset. They sat on the sand, person's head on my shoulder. Holding hands. They looked at each other. Showed their genuine smile to one another. Someone's pulling me. Going back. Stopped. And there I was waiting for Mom. People start moving normally.
I felt weird again. I never felt in need to have a partner still. I just smiled because I know that person will come. I will wait for that person who can just make me laugh all the time. Who can just grab me and hug me tight. Who will be very supportive and work as a team. Who is strong and who is never afraid. Who can manage to introduce me to anyone. And lastly, who will never give up and will always fight for love.
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